网友给的感觉能信吗？

dolphinsquirrel

随着一声『富神爷爷到』，从天上掉下一滴甘露正好落在你的嘴唇上！
你在恍惚中看见了3两黄金。
DO YOU BELIEVE THE FEELING WITH YOUR CYBER FRIENDS ONLINE?
let me tell you something about my experience today...perhaps you will find it not logical at all,coz i just type down whatever i am thinking of....
Today when I was quite bored, I applied another ID in POPO and went to chat with him.(he used be a very special good friend of my online) That bastard was sex mad. All he wanted to talk about is sex and all those dirty minds stink. Never thinking that he would be like that way and once so silly and naïve to believe every word he said, I even once or twice threw myself to the very verge of being in love with him. For Chrissake. What should I do? I want to play with him? I think it is a good way for me to see him through and throw him out of my way.
During the past half year, almost everyday I would call his name from the bottom of my heart. He really established a perfect image before me, fascinating and attractive. Even after I met him and through all those boring and meaningless conversation, I still didn’t see him quite clearly. Through this afternoon’s conversation, I saw he was no more a freak who can’t find a girlfriend and kills his time online to search for his sex experience and love affairs.
However even toward such a kind of freak, I still didn’t perform well and we didn’t contact with each other from then on. There is not just the matter of me. It is that our characters and views of life are totally different and we are both intolerable to each other. I dare say from now on, I will begin to kick that imaginable and virtual him out of my life and sail to seek my own true love. All I want is to continue to have a nice chatting partner who can chat with me when I feel lonely and bored. Now I still get him. The only difference is that I won’t be obsessed and tortured by all those missing and tricky things.
Yesterday I finished Norwegian Wood. Not like other girls in my dorm, I am not obsessed by it. But any way it is not bad and tells us quite a lot, especially the truth of growth from adolescence to adulthood. But I always feel that the stories on books are always dynamic and vivid. The fact in reality is quite disappointing. I don’t have a colorful life or meet with many interesting persons. I haven’t even been in love. Isn’t it quite shameful? I haven’t loved anyone anytime. A little bit like the hero in The Valley of the Horses, though he is quite popular among women, he didn’t fall in love with anyone till he meets Alya. Where is my love, I am wondering…
The other day Doris(my roommate) chatted with me online. She was quite gloomy coz the boy she loved was in the arms of another girl. She said she felt so defeated and abased. I really didn’t know how to comfort her, coz similarly I didn’t have anyone around so far.
I have always been thinking the truth of life and why we should live on this world and what for? I think about it for a long time and still didn’t find the answer. I asked him as a topic this afternoon online and cast this question to him, yet he was getting quite bored and upset and said that it was too damn tiresome to chat about those online. Superficial shallow guy~!
I still love Beethoven’s No.5 symphony. And yesterday I downloaded the whole four movements. Though I have the CD, yet I feel like listening to music online. It drives me through and through. That passion, that vigor of emotion, that power overwhelmed me!! I watched Amadeus this winter holiday. I am fascinated by Mozart’s ingenuity and talents, yet I am more moved by Beethoven’s heart-blooding hard work.
This night I chatted with him with the changed ID and found out he was totally disgusting and held all the weaknesses of men. I told him I’d got a boyfriend and he was quite upset and unhappy about that and said that I’d wasted his time and talked with him for a whole afternoon achieving nothing for good. Now I see that he was online searching for girlfriends. All those covering and disguises have been revealed. So there is nothing real or beautiful online. All those beauty are just created by the ones hiding behind the screen. After he knows that I’ve got a boyfriend, all the interest from him towards me vanished and he felt that he was quite deserved and was tricked by me. Ha-ha…that’s was exactly what I want to do. That wicked bastard~!!!
I am also so disappointed as well. Coz he makes me doubt whether all kinds of guys were like that―filling their heads with all those dirty and indecent things. I know sex is quite normal and everyone who grows up will go through with it, however, taking it too debauching is a kind of decadence and break-down of humanity. He said I was too serious and if he were my boyfriend he would rather fuck himself…He-he, of course I know he was just jealousy or some what like the fox that can’t get the grapes. Yet it also reflects that man all likes woman to be open and obedient. I feel it really unfair. After I read Norwegian Wood, I found man all has that impulsion and desire which needs to be released. That’s why they seeks women or go masturbating. Human beings are really weird animal. On one hand they have the same character as animals that need intercourse and breed the generation. On the other hand, they hold systems of morality and conventions so that human beings have a harder time than all those animals though he is the most powerful and intelligent life-form on earth. And just because of their intelligence, they have worries and anguish inside which make their time harder than the other beings.
Sometimes I don’t want to be in this environment. It is not ideal and full of dark side and unpleasant views. But I don’t know where I should go and where to find that kind of place where is full of beauty, kindness, truth and above all love. That’s one of the reasons I dream to go to America. After all it is the most powerful and developed country in the world. And I guess there must be something better than the condition here, though I am sure it is imperfect either and has its weakness and defects.
The other day I encountered the girl I met in GRE class in Shanghai on QQ. She has already been in America with her husband. When we were still in Shanghai, they were just engaged. And the husband is studying in the University of Kentucky and brought his wife there. Now she is preparing for GRE just as me and would join the test this May. From my points of view, she has achieved her dream of being in America, however, she told me she felt quite lonely there and I could see that her life is not satisfying either. So I guess everyone has the skeleton in the cupboard and there are always many things imperfect for us to tolerate, to improve and to embrace. Where is my way? I will struggle hard as well as pray that it will be a smooth road!

what's your experience?
what are you feeling today?
Do you believe the feelings online?

风之羽?h

虽然很想给你一点意见,但是你写的东西我一个也看不懂`
我想看得懂的人不多吧
如果你真的想听大家的意见最好改成中文

若楠

其实我很不想说抱歉，但是，我看着满篇的英文就头疼。。。
在很努力地看完了三段半以后，我还是放弃了。。。。。。
失职一回。

柳果果

i think your opinion is unilateralism.the instance is exist but not all the people.
try to forget it be a happy girl...
net is the shadow of a shade,so don't believe it , come back to the realism ,you will find a good man!
you see,i only can  say some simple word.maybe some error....hehe,wish you haapy!
at last,good luck to the GRE examination!

[ Last edited by 谁的宝贝 on 2005-2-26 at 08:44 ]

下宇呱呱

还是我家宝贝强啊！
你说的什么完应？

pola

It's a pity.

Please try your best to forget all this.

Let you to begin a new life,and you will find your future is so .....wonderful

哈哈~~~水平有限啊！！！！

dolphinsquirrel

Originally posted by 谁的宝贝 at 2005-2-25 05:28 PM:
i think your opinion is unilateralism.the instance is exist but not all the people.
try to forget it be a happy girl...
net is the shadow of a shade,so don't believe it , come back to the reali ...

thanks a lot buddy.
i am getting over it.
life will move on and i am sure everything will turn out to be fine, you will see
wish all of you, all my friends can relish the moment and enjoy the life
though life is just like water most of the time,bland,simple,peaceful...perhaps that's the truth of life and arts of living. all we need to do is just infuse some kinds of passion and excitement in it.
Do you agree?

dolphinsquirrel

Originally posted by 若楠 at 2005-2-25 04:10 PM:
其实我很不想说抱歉，但是，我看着满篇的英文就头疼。。。
在很努力地看完了三段半以后，我还是放弃了。。。。。。
失职一回。

不好意思，下次用中文写

dolphinsquirrel

Originally posted by pola at 2005-2-26 02:21 AM:
It's a pity.

Please try your best to forget all this.

Let you to begin a new life,and you will find your future is so .....wonderful

哈哈~~~水平有限啊！！！！

hehe...actually i don't treat it as  a pity or something,just a little bit disappointed about the world around and the whole environment in China at present. There should be so many beautiful things in the world that we might not be luck enough to experience them all.Besides life will cheat peopel from time to time. that pretty sucks~!
So what i am thinking is taking everything easy just as the leaves grow on the tree and the grass grows on the weirs...~~~

柳果果

very glad to see you become convinced.
like you said,that's the truth of life and arts of living. all we need to do is just infuse some kinds of passion and excitement in it.its a good begining.as long as we do.we will getting to the other shore.shall we ?
baby,wish you happy,blessedness...you are a fineness girl!